Devastation and Hope
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Set during and after "Josh is Done". Drake's reaction after running out of chemistry class, and he and Josh talk after playing ping-pong.


Disclaimer: I don't own Drake & Josh or anything related to the show.

* * *

After bolting from the chemistry labor, Drake tried to choke down sobs. He would not give into his urge to cry, no matter how much he was hurting. Drake went into the nurse's office. "I'm not feeling all that well," he explained to her.

The nurse sighed. She had already received a brief phone call from Drakes' teacher, somewhat explaining what had occurred. "You can go home. Do you want me to call your mother?" she questioned.

Drake nodded. He didn't think he could drive home. His head hurt, he was soaked, and he really missed Josh. At least Josh could drive the car home. "Call her," he said.

She sighed again and dialed Audrey's cell phone number. She hung up a few minutes later. "Your mother's on her way and bringing you dry clothes."

Drake sighed in relief, but the sigh nearly gave way to a sob. At least he could go home and cry in peace. _If _he left himself cry.

"You don't look so great," Audrey observed upon seeing her son. She had been expecting Drake's breakdown for a few days now. After Jack had left, Drake had been "strong" for a week so he wouldn't hurt her or Megan. He had finally broken on day nine.

"I don't feel so well," Drake admitted. He wouldn't be surprised if he did get sick.

Audrey felt his forehead, but it seemed normal. "We'll go straight home," she informed Drake.

"That sounds good," Drake replied dully. It had just hit him now that Josh was done with him. He hadn't even come after him.

Audrey struggled not to frown. She knew her son was hurting, but she hadn't realized how much. She and Walter had decided not to interfere with Josh and Drake's fight, but maybe it was time to. "Do you want soup for dinner?"

Drake shook his head. "I'm not hungry," he told her.

"Are you sure?" Audrey asked. Now she was really worried.

He stared at his mother. "I'm sure, Momma."

Audrey tried not to react. Drake only called her Momma when he was upset beyond belief. "Baby, it's okay to be upset," she told him.

"I'm fine," Drake lied. He wasn't ever going to be fine again.

"Do you want to tell me what exactly happened?" Audrey asked. Maybe she and Walter could fix it.

"No," Drake said. His mom would probably end up hating him, just like his dad and Josh. It was his fault that his dad had left anyway. It was no surprise that he had driven Josh away. He would probably drive away Megan, his mother, and Walter eventually.

"Are you sure?" Audrey knew how her son's mind worked when he was depressed.

"I'm sure," Drake lied again. Why couldn't his mom just leave him alone?

Audrey decided to leave it go for now. She wouldn't push Drake into something he wasn't ready for. "I think you should go to bed when we get home," she told him.

"Okay," Drake agreed. He wanted to be left alone for a long time.

When Audrey and Drake arrived home, she sat down in the living room and sent Drake upstairs to his room.

"I love you," Audrey called. She figured Drake needed to hear it right now.

Drake struggled not to scoff. He knew better. Nobody loved him. "I love you too," he called back anyway.

He immediately changed into pajamas. Instead of going to bed, Drake laid down on the ping-pong table. "I'm sorry," he said, and finally began to cry.

Why had he become so attached to Josh? Drake should have known their friendship wouldn't last. He ruined all of the good things that happened to him.

No wonder Josh was done with him. He screwed up _everything_. Drake was surprised that it hadn't happened earlier.

He ended up crying himself to sleep. Drake woke up around 1:30PM.

"Are you okay?" Walter asked his stepson. His wife had sent him up to check on Drake. Like Audrey, he hadn't realized how badly the fight had affected their sons.

"Yes," Drake lied, his voice cracking. He felt uncomfortable from lying on the ping-pong table for so long, but didn't care.

"Drake," Walter warned. Even he could tell how badly Drake was upset. He had never seen his stepson like this before. His eyes were red.

"I'm fine," Drake insisted. He wasn't about to fall apart in front of Walter.

"You are not fine," Walter said. He couldn't believe he and Audrey had let the fight go this far.

Drake couldn't hold in the sobs anymore. He began to cry again. He didn't understand why he was so emotional about this. It was out of character and not like him, but Drake didn't care.

Walter opened up his eyes and Drake went in for the hug. "You're going to be fine," Walter soothed. He knew that Drake and Josh would make up sooner or later.

"No, I'm not," Drake sobbed. He knew the truth. Drake had been right earlier. Nothing would ever been fine again.

Walter hugged his stepson for a few more minutes and went back downstairs to his wife. Drake returned to lying down on the ping-pong table.

When Megan came home from school, Audrey decided to send her daughter upstairs to gauge Drake's mood.

"What do I do if he's sad?" Megan asked. She would be uncomfortable near a sad Drake. She knew from the beginning that her brothers' fight wasn't one of their normal fights.

"You leave him alone," Audrey explained. She figured it was best if Drake was left alone for a little while.

Josh came in just as Megan went to go upstairs. "How is he?" he asked Audrey.

"He's hurting, so I suggest you fix it," Audrey said. She didn't want her sons to be fighting anymore.

"Don't hurt him anymore," Walter warned. Drake's crying had managed to hurt him.

"I'm not going to," Josh said. He had already forgiven his brother and hoped to play a reconciliatory game of ping-pong.

"He was crying," Audrey said to him. She didn't want to break Drake's trust, but this was something that needed to be said. Josh needed to understand how much he had hurt his brother.

Josh didn't look surprised. As he went upstairs, he remembered Drake's near-breakdown in chemistry class.

Everything would be okay between him and Drake.

XXXXXXXXXX

After playing ping-pong, Drake's good mood quickly evaporated.

"I forgive you, Drake," Josh told his brother.

"But I messed up," Drake said. Why had Josh forgiven him? He didn't deserve Josh's forgiveness.

"Because you never meant to mess up the way you did," Josh explained. Why didn't he realize that before shutting Drake out and hurting his brother?

"But you were done," Drake replied. Maybe he would push Josh away for good someday.

"I was wrong," Josh said. He hoped he got through to Drake somehow.

"I'm sorry," Drake apologized. He wanted to say it again.

"It's okay," Josh assured him. He hugged his brother.

"How can you just forgive me like that?" Drake asked, his voice cracking and muffled.

"Easy. I love you," he told Drake. Why wasn't he getting through to his brother?

"I love you too," Drake replied. He struggled not to cry again. He had done enough of that already.

"You can cry," Josh said. He figured that Drake needed to release his emotions.

"I cried enough," he admitted. Drake was starting to feel better already.

"You can cry again," Josh assured him. Sure enough, Drake finally did begin to cry again a few minutes later.

Josh led Drake to the couch as his brother's cried echoed around the room. "I'm sorry," Drake apologized yet again.

"I know you are. I forgive you," Josh comforted. He hoped Drake would release all of his pent-up emotions in the next few minutes.

Drake's sobs finally began to slow down, and they eventually stopped. He fell asleep on the couch, exhausted from his tumultuous week.

Josh fell asleep about ten minutes after his brother.

Audrey, Walter, and Megan snuck into the boys' room. "I'm glad they're okay now," Audrey whispered.

"So am I," Megan replied. She was happy her brothers weren't fighting anymore. Besides, a depressed Drake didn't care about anything.

"They're brothers," Walter said simply. Brothers could forgive each other for nearly everything.

Nothing would ever tear apart Drake Parker and Josh Nichols again. They had small fights, but that was it. The two had managed to get through the worst fight they had ever had.

The End

* * *

I stopped watching this show in season one because I didn't like. I caught "The Storm" on Nick the other day, and became interested in the show again. I watched "Josh is Done" on Turbonick, and it's one of my favorite episodes.

Guilt affects people in different ways, which is why Drake ends up so depressed about others things.

I wanted to explore what happened after my favorite scene-Drake's breakdown in chemistry class and what happened after he and Josh made up during the ping-pong game. The two never got to talk.

I'm also thinking about a writing a slight AU fics where Josh walks into the room as Megan is returning Drake's guitar and he's laying on the ping-pong table.

I'm planning on writing a few more fics for this fandom after I see more episodes on Turbonick and the regular channel. I love "Megan's First Kiss" just because of her overprotective older brothers.


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